So, today was one of those days that make you want to cry in your car in the McDonald's parking lot. And it is the second one in a row I've had. And, yesterday was my birthday. Yep, I'm losing it. But I can't lose it, right? Because my kids are in the car with me, and I'm MOM. I never lose it. Yeah, right. If only they knew.
Why? Because yesterday, (on my birthday remember?), I got up early to take the youngest for his shots. Then we have to run to get Girly Girl's school supplies, and after three stores I still don't have them all. Then home to cook dinner which I ruined so we had cereal instead. Did I mention youngest is teething and coming off the bottle at night so I only sleep about two hours at a time? Yep. Woo hoo!
My perfect husband got home from Boston last night with a huge bunch of beautiful flowers just so I would have something new on my birthday then he rubbed my sore back for me. Lucky me.
Skip to this morning when I get up not so early, 8am yay!, to make breakfast only to realize youngest is out of formula. Now it is rush around get ready time so we can run to the store for his formula. The school supply store is on the way so kill two birds with one stone, and be back within the hour to go through kids' dressers before the big garage sale.
Fast foward again to me driving to the first school store to find it empty...as in moved out a year ago empty. OK. Fine. A quick trip to Toys'r'us with my gift cards for cheap diapers and formula. Not a big deal. An hour later at Toys r us, and I realize as I'm leaving $250 lighter that I forgot to use the gift cards and that is why it was so much more than I thought in my head. Now it's two hours later, roughly 1pm, and I have a headache because I skipped breakfast.
Loading up the truck and we're off to the other school supply store. Pull in, aaannnnddd.....it too has closed. Windows are black.
I'm trying to save my family money because I gave up a good paycheck, and I've done nothing but suck us dry since. I'm trying to have some fun before my kids start school, but I end up spending hours stuck shopping because of poor planning. I am trying to get my house organized so we don't have so much stuff sitting around, and I've barely gotten it clean let alone organized. And to top it off, some little girl in an Acura is terrified to pull out into traffic so I sit behind her for literally 12 minutes waiting to go. 12 MINUTES!!
Cue the hysteria. I close my eyes. I breathe deeply so my three kids don't see me rip apart a teenage girl for being too cautious. Now I'm going to be sick for not eating all day, and being too stressed. Breathe again because I feel the tears coming up anyway. Then, out of nowhere...
"Mom, let's just get home so you can rest. You shouldn't have to deal with this mess. We'll take care of you mom like you take care of us." And a hand rubs my shoulder to add to the comforting words.
I look over at my 12 year old who is usually the instigator of all the fighting and trouble. He sees my stress. And he's concerned. He sincerely wants to help me. Now cue the happy tears.
So instead of losing it over everything that's happened to me, I remember that Job was thankful even at his worst. I start counting my blessings.
I have three happy, healthy kids who also happen to be beautiful.
I have a husband who stops at the store for flowers at 10pm after being on delayed flights all day just to make my day better.
I have a family, a large family, that fights over my time when I go visit because they all want to see me.
I have a great house, plenty of food, and good things for my children.
I am healthy enough to enjoy my blessings.
I have two (secretly three, hi KK) nieces that I adore.
I have ....
Get the picture? I couldn't concentrate on the negative when I started counting my blessings. And I have a lot of blessings. More than I could actually count. But by trying, my focus shifted, my spirit lifted, and I ended up having a decent day with my fantastic kids.
Everyone has those days when you feel close to either committing murder or crying hysterically for hours. It's normal. But when you do feel that way, stop, but not to smell the roses. Count your blessings instead. I think you'll find, like I did, that you have more to be thankful for than reasons to complain. (Although I hope next year's birthday is better than this one. I'm not that saintly!)
Friday, August 24, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
Welcome Back to the World
So, I stopped writing there for awhile because I worried that I was getting too preachy. Yeah, I know, right? ME? Then I went through all of this last year realizing that the world really does need some serious preaching so I'm back, baby!!
Recently, I left a job I loved that paid really well to stay at home full time with my kiddos. I've been home now for two months, and I love it! My kids fight all day long, I do at least five loads of laundry every day, I sometimes feel like one more chicken dinner at night and I'll beat myself to death with the wing, and I freaking LOVE IT! It's the best decision I've ever made. Including the decision to start watching that cartoon everyone was talking about, Spongebob.
But I have to admit that I was surprised, and somewhat saddened, at the shock and almost admonition I got from other women, mothers mind you, when I told them my decision. About staying home, I mean, not the Spongebob thing. I expected men to be shocked that I was willing to give up a pretty good paycheck to be "just a mom". But I honestly expected most of the women to be a little envious that they weren't home with their kids, too even if they love working outside the home. I mean, if you have children, isn't that supposed to be your priority?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking women who work whether because they have to or just for fun. I have known some women who are fully capable of being successful in the business world and as a mom and wife. They grab life by the horns, and tell it whose boss, and life listens. I used to work for one of them. A mom, a high level executive who was fantastic at her job, breathtaking home in historic neighborhood, healthy meals for the family, vacations, and she was superb at handling all of that. I cheer those women on. Hoorah! But I'm not one of them. I admit it. I can do one thing really well or a thousands things that end up looking like a blind monkey came at them with a gun. So I chose my home life. Not a decision for everyone, but a perfect one for me.
So why the sadness? Well, it's because the women I spoke to about my decision to stay home had one thing to say: maybe you can find some business to do from home so you can still make a contribution to your family. WHAT??? As if, without a paycheck I become a burden on my family? Maybe because I'm not making any money my efforts at managing expenses, keeping house, not paying for daycare, running the errands, and being involved in my children's lives is worthless? What happened to us women?
Look, I'm very proud of the feminist movement of the last hundred years or so barring the 80s when we went too far. I think it's only right that we be treated equal to men. I love that women are now in some of the highest positions in the world of business and politics. But, when did achieving all of that mean that being a homemaker, investing in the next generation of women to be their best, taking care of our loved ones become a bad thing? Or something less? Someone to look upon as if to say: Oh, that's Suzy. She's just a mom, poor thing.
I am pretty sure this isn't what Susan B. Anthony was pushing for back in the day. As proud as we are of our accomplishments outside the home, we should be equally proud of those whose accomplishments are only inside the home.
So the next time you are talking to "just a mom", say something encouraging to her. Give her a verbal pat on the back or an actual buddy hug. You have no idea how much she might need it.
GO MOMS!! ALL MOMS!!
Recently, I left a job I loved that paid really well to stay at home full time with my kiddos. I've been home now for two months, and I love it! My kids fight all day long, I do at least five loads of laundry every day, I sometimes feel like one more chicken dinner at night and I'll beat myself to death with the wing, and I freaking LOVE IT! It's the best decision I've ever made. Including the decision to start watching that cartoon everyone was talking about, Spongebob.
But I have to admit that I was surprised, and somewhat saddened, at the shock and almost admonition I got from other women, mothers mind you, when I told them my decision. About staying home, I mean, not the Spongebob thing. I expected men to be shocked that I was willing to give up a pretty good paycheck to be "just a mom". But I honestly expected most of the women to be a little envious that they weren't home with their kids, too even if they love working outside the home. I mean, if you have children, isn't that supposed to be your priority?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking women who work whether because they have to or just for fun. I have known some women who are fully capable of being successful in the business world and as a mom and wife. They grab life by the horns, and tell it whose boss, and life listens. I used to work for one of them. A mom, a high level executive who was fantastic at her job, breathtaking home in historic neighborhood, healthy meals for the family, vacations, and she was superb at handling all of that. I cheer those women on. Hoorah! But I'm not one of them. I admit it. I can do one thing really well or a thousands things that end up looking like a blind monkey came at them with a gun. So I chose my home life. Not a decision for everyone, but a perfect one for me.
So why the sadness? Well, it's because the women I spoke to about my decision to stay home had one thing to say: maybe you can find some business to do from home so you can still make a contribution to your family. WHAT??? As if, without a paycheck I become a burden on my family? Maybe because I'm not making any money my efforts at managing expenses, keeping house, not paying for daycare, running the errands, and being involved in my children's lives is worthless? What happened to us women?
Look, I'm very proud of the feminist movement of the last hundred years or so barring the 80s when we went too far. I think it's only right that we be treated equal to men. I love that women are now in some of the highest positions in the world of business and politics. But, when did achieving all of that mean that being a homemaker, investing in the next generation of women to be their best, taking care of our loved ones become a bad thing? Or something less? Someone to look upon as if to say: Oh, that's Suzy. She's just a mom, poor thing.
I am pretty sure this isn't what Susan B. Anthony was pushing for back in the day. As proud as we are of our accomplishments outside the home, we should be equally proud of those whose accomplishments are only inside the home.
So the next time you are talking to "just a mom", say something encouraging to her. Give her a verbal pat on the back or an actual buddy hug. You have no idea how much she might need it.
GO MOMS!! ALL MOMS!!
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