So, I stopped writing there for awhile because I worried that I was getting too preachy. Yeah, I know, right? ME? Then I went through all of this last year realizing that the world really does need some serious preaching so I'm back, baby!!
Recently, I left a job I loved that paid really well to stay at home full time with my kiddos. I've been home now for two months, and I love it! My kids fight all day long, I do at least five loads of laundry every day, I sometimes feel like one more chicken dinner at night and I'll beat myself to death with the wing, and I freaking LOVE IT! It's the best decision I've ever made. Including the decision to start watching that cartoon everyone was talking about, Spongebob.
But I have to admit that I was surprised, and somewhat saddened, at the shock and almost admonition I got from other women, mothers mind you, when I told them my decision. About staying home, I mean, not the Spongebob thing. I expected men to be shocked that I was willing to give up a pretty good paycheck to be "just a mom". But I honestly expected most of the women to be a little envious that they weren't home with their kids, too even if they love working outside the home. I mean, if you have children, isn't that supposed to be your priority?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking women who work whether because they have to or just for fun. I have known some women who are fully capable of being successful in the business world and as a mom and wife. They grab life by the horns, and tell it whose boss, and life listens. I used to work for one of them. A mom, a high level executive who was fantastic at her job, breathtaking home in historic neighborhood, healthy meals for the family, vacations, and she was superb at handling all of that. I cheer those women on. Hoorah! But I'm not one of them. I admit it. I can do one thing really well or a thousands things that end up looking like a blind monkey came at them with a gun. So I chose my home life. Not a decision for everyone, but a perfect one for me.
So why the sadness? Well, it's because the women I spoke to about my decision to stay home had one thing to say: maybe you can find some business to do from home so you can still make a contribution to your family. WHAT??? As if, without a paycheck I become a burden on my family? Maybe because I'm not making any money my efforts at managing expenses, keeping house, not paying for daycare, running the errands, and being involved in my children's lives is worthless? What happened to us women?
Look, I'm very proud of the feminist movement of the last hundred years or so barring the 80s when we went too far. I think it's only right that we be treated equal to men. I love that women are now in some of the highest positions in the world of business and politics. But, when did achieving all of that mean that being a homemaker, investing in the next generation of women to be their best, taking care of our loved ones become a bad thing? Or something less? Someone to look upon as if to say: Oh, that's Suzy. She's just a mom, poor thing.
I am pretty sure this isn't what Susan B. Anthony was pushing for back in the day. As proud as we are of our accomplishments outside the home, we should be equally proud of those whose accomplishments are only inside the home.
So the next time you are talking to "just a mom", say something encouraging to her. Give her a verbal pat on the back or an actual buddy hug. You have no idea how much she might need it.
GO MOMS!! ALL MOMS!!
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