I want to know why we need a license to fish, hunt, drive, sell houses or a host of other things yet just anyone can have a kid. Do you know how difficult it is to be a parent? The first test you should have to go through is a mental stress test. You know, like the astronauts do to see if they can handle the stress of space? If space madness is real, kid madness is realer (see, I have it now, too. I'm making up words!)
I'm not saying we should go China or anything, writing laws and punishing people for having kids, but jeez!! I'm not even going to touch on child abuse of both the mental and physical kind (stop feeding your 100lb. toddler, that's abuse). I'm talking just Regular Joe raising a few kids nowadays. I think another test people should have before they have kids is a stupid test. Not an intelligence test, but a stupid test. For example: a woman in my city got in a car accident (ran off the road) and the cops arrived on the scene to investigate. Her reason, that she voluntarily gave, for running off the road was that her sixth month old was crying because she was hungry so the woman just slipped her from the car seat and was nursing (NURSING!) at the wheel. Now, if she was on a long road trip her stupidity may be understandable. Crying baby, unfamiliar city, a danger to pulling off the road to nurse. Was she on a long road trip? Nope. She had run to the grocery store and was on her way back home. See what I mean? Stupidity test.
I think another test people should have is a kindness test. I hate it when that kid who bullied me in high school has kids because then those kids just bully my kids and it becomes an endless cycle of generations of bullies. I don't think mean people should have kids. Sorry. I know that's being mean but they started it!!
I think another important test is responsibility test. Are you a career obsessed, jet setting, shallow person? Don't have kids. They aren't an accessory to your Prada purse and Armani shoes. They are real people who need most of your time. If you have kids, and you have time for manicures, pedicures, "just mom vacations", girls night out, and spa time all in one month - you are neglecting your kids. Another area of responsibility is fiscal responsibility. Kids are expensive. If you have 8 kids and you are on government assistance, you are fiscally irresponsible. Close your legs!! I know, crude. But true. I have nothing against government assistance for those in need. My mom was a single mom, and I have no idea how she would have done it if my dad had been a deadbeat. Thank God he wasn't!! Kids are not a way to get a government check. Stop it!!
I think probably the final test to have kids would be a marriage test. I'm not saying only married couples should have kids. I'm saying if you are married, don't have kids to save a bad one. There are lots of people out there single or otherwise who would make great parents. But there are lots more who have kids hoping that it will bring the spark back. Are you kidding? (see the paragraph about the stupidity test!) If anything is going to kill the spark it is kids. Get a puppy instead. Besides, you can't put that kind of pressure on a baby. It's bad parenting.
I'm venting because I'm pretty sure I am not doing such a great job at this thing, and I'm trying my hardest. I'm offended by those who are parents and aren't trying as hard. I'm a stressed, guilt-laden, exhausted, messy, busy, crazy lady with stains on her clothes, laundry on her couch, and you can probably hear my shrill voice screaming if you come by around homework time. It's only fair that others should suffer the same.
God, I love my kids!!
