Don't Fear the Jungle Gym

First - sorry for the major lag time. I've been in a funk. I think I'm coming out of it so there should be regular posts now.

Now onto my thoughts.

I was sitting in church yesterday listening to the pastor talk about letting fear rule our lives when I got a wonderful analogy in my head. (Yes, that means I wasn't paying attention. Sorry, Pastor Rick.) Only adults let fear rule their lives so completely. Case in point: watch kids playing at your local park on the jungle gym.

I remember my son, who was absolutely fearless when he was young, climb all over our jungle gym. At three, his favorite was to climb to the top of the monkey bars, and sit on them. I'm talking about directly on top, the highest point, just sit and hang out. He never once came over to me to ask about gravity if he fell, the risks vs. benefits, or anything else us grown ups would think about. He just decided he was going up there, and there he went. Of course, flash to me biting my nails underneath him, not yelling for fear of making him fall, waiting to make the trip to the hospital ER. But we never went. He never fell. And I'm convinced it was because it never occurred to him he might be in danger.

Here's where the motivational speaker usually ramps you up by telling you to think like that. Just decide and do - no fear. Yeah, right. Unfortunately, as adults we are fully aware of the risks of the decisions we make everyday. That's the difference between my son and myself. He was blissfully ignorant of the pain that awaited him just two inches in either direction. But I am fully aware, and so I sit on the end of the slide, in the safe zone, watching others make the climb.

I don't think the lesson to be learned from these kids is "no fear" or "decide and do". No, I believe the lesson is for us to not pass on our fears. Do our best to keep our children so fearless they never think twice about inventing electric cars or saving the rain forests in Argentina. And to keep from teaching them our fears, we are going to have to live by favorite motto: Fake it til you make it.

Let's put this into perspective: my son at three years old was probably about 3 1/2 feet tall. The bar across the top of the monkey bars was at least 12 feet high. That's almost four of him. But he never stopped to do the math. Because he didn't look at his goal from the bottom up, never realizing how high it was before he climbed. He looked straight ahead at what he had to do next, and then (TA DA!), he was there looking down at where he'd come from. And at that point, he was where he wanted to be so who cares how far he might have fallen. The point was he didn't.

So to all those parents out there who are living in a state of constant fear, like myself, hear this: get up, look to the next task to be done not up or around you, do that task, and repeat. Before you know it, you'll have passed your first goal, and you will have shown your kids no fear. Of course, you know how bad it will be if you fail, but why bring that up? Is discussing it going to prevent it? Does it help calm you? NO!! It only causes you to stand underneath those monkey bars looking up, sweating because you're too terrified now to take that first step.

I am going to try this in my house. Please look out for me. I'll be the mom shaking and sweating on my way to the top of the jungle gym. And smiling for my son the whole time!